A Company Is Making A Beer That Includes Bacteria Harvested From A Woman's Vagina

 

Mirror- Most booze lovers would be quite open to trying different craft beers – and there are many to choose from these days. But even the most adventurous of beer drinkers might have a hard time getting their head around this one, made from bacteria harvested from vaginas. Yes, you read that correctly. The creators behind ‘Bottled Instinct’ decided that they wanted to capture the essence of a woman (‘her charm, her sensuality, her passion… her taste, feel her smell… her voice’) and turn it into a drink. The Order of Yoni’s website reads: “The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. “Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman. “The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfer woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into dance with lovely goddess.”

 

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Beer snobs are among the worst people on Earth. Beer snobs and terrorists are the 1a and 1b of people who I think deserve to die the most. There is no beer out there interesting enough that I want to talk about it at length. There just isn’t. I don’t care how it was made. I don’t care what ingredients or weather patterns it took to grow the hops just right. I don’t care if the grains were stored in the asshole of a hibernating bear and that’s why the flavor is so rich. I sure as shit don’t care about this beer that is made with bacteria from some chick’s vagina. Hard pass. Like what the actual fuck, you guys? What are we doing here? If you thought beer snob conversations were weird already, just you wait. Now they’re gonna be like, “Oh I can taste her. I can taste her lips. She must’ve had Golden Crisp for breakfast that day.” Beer snobs need to stay as far away from me as possible. This is gonna sound like a hardo Do You Even Drink Bro comment but just let me black out on 17 Busch Lights and leave me the hell alone. So there.

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